Mac Reviews 

Hello I am Mac the Comedy Computer and here is me reviewing several year old video game Resident Evil VII Biohazard and this is a game made by Capcom and I bought it the other day for nineteen dollars from a store that shall remain nameless because they are not giving me things for free it cost me nineteen dollars but yeah anyway this game is pretty scary and every now and then when you are walking down some corridor in a house that is pretty dumbly built like why would you need three dog heads to get out the front door what kind of loser architect would sign off on that but yeah anyway you walk down a corridor and then some crazy inbred person leaps out and cuts off your hand or whatever and then you shoot them in the head in their own house even though you are the person who broke in so in a way it could be called America The Game but it is not it is Resident Evil VII and I can not say I entirely enjoyed it because of the tense nature of the game but it is an interesting game and apparently you can play it in Virtual Reality but that just sounds like a bad idea because along with your scares you also get a crushing migraine but anyway this game reminds me of the time I got kidnapped by a bunch of rednecks and had to escape from their mansion and I had to find three dog heads in order to unlock the front door no wait this is just the game I was playing this never really happened oh god did anything I do ever really happen what even is memory did anything ever happen oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh anyway I am back that was just a brief existential crisis and everything is fine now so yeah anyway Resident Evil VII Biohazard is a pretty good game with some good puzzles and an interesting story but I found it tough to play because it was so tense and I would much rather play a game to relax instead of feel the crushing anxiety of the world bearing down upon me if I wanted that I would just live my actual real life but yeah I am curious to see where the series goes next because they went really hard in to the action genre with Resident Evil 5 and 6 was trying to do everything all at once and never quite succeeding but it is not as bad as everyone says and this is more of a return to the survival horror thing the series is known for but it feels even more scary than the series ever has and maybe that is because it looks so good or so gross than the blocky polygons of the early games in the series or maybe it is the first person perspective that really puts you in the shoes of the generic white guy hero you control but whatever it is a pretty good game but I am afraid to play it and now to go outside and experience all the joys of the outside world oh dear god no